Revealing Invisible Disabilities

Speaker: Barry Shore

Good day beautiful, bountiful beloved and immortal beings and good-looking people, remember you’re good looking, because you’re always looking for and finding the good and we have good in abundance today, you will be mesmerized, you’ll be on the edge of your seats. Because you have tuned in as you know, consciously and conscientiously to the joy of living with your humble host Barry Shore and you tuned in for one reason and one reason only. It’s the best reason you tuned in because you care the most in the entire world about you, Y-O-U. And that’s great because when you’re the best you, you can create a better world for all of us. You create more harmony, more bridges between people, you create more joy, happiness, peace and love. And you know that on this show, we discuss the three fundamentals of life. And these three fundamentals are, number one, life; your life has purpose. Number two, if you lead a purpose driven life, you can go MAD. Now, in this case, MAD is a wonderful acronym that stands for Make A Difference. You’ve made a purposeful life; you make a difference. And the third fundamental is to uncover and unlock the secrets and the power of everyday words and terms. Simplest example, this show is being carried over the internet and you are joined right now by approximately 349,811 people around the world over this magical mystical form called the Internet. If you ask anybody what does WWW stands for? Invariably they say it has to do with the internet and factually speaking they’re correct. But in our world, the world of the positive, purposeful, powerful and pleasant www stands for whata wonderful world. Whata is a word right? So what happens when you will be live with the three fundamentals of life, remember, life has purpose, make a difference and uncover the power and the secrets everyday words and terms. You will be happier, healthier, and wealthier. Who doesn’t want that? That’s the promise of this show. And today especially, you’re going to hear from two of the most talented people that you’ll ever have the opportunity of listening to. And as we discuss a topic as germane, probably more so to people in the United States of America, but the United States of America is the tip of the spear when it comes to what’s happening in the rest of the world, vis a vis societal trends. This is really about you, you don’t have to take any notes. Just lean in and let the conversation come to you and be transformed by the powerful voices you’re going to be hearing. Because everything that you need is going to be available on our website, Barryshore.com. Just go there all the information about these two remarkable women and what they do and how they do it will be available there. So just lean in and let the information transform you as you listen to what we’re talking about Saving Our Society. And we’re talking about, I’m going to give you an interesting something about the power of words. So when I usually discuss the Barry Shore story we have somewhere between 320,000 to 330,000 people coming every week, and thank God you’re asking your friends to come so we’ll be over 360,000 before the end of the show, and it’s really important to know that this show is not my story, it is your story because again, it’s all about you. But people hear the story. So when I speak to large groups and before COVID was on face to face now it’s done through the internet. But I tell the story of Barry Shore, imagine standing up in the morning, hale and hearty, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound and that evening in the hospital totally and completely paralyzed and it’s not from an automobile accident… it’s not a spinal injury. A rare disease took over my body, I never heard of it. It rendered me a quadriplegic. Nothing on my body worked, completely and totally paralyzed. 144 days in the hospital. I was in a hospital bed in my own home for two years and couldn’t turnover by myself. I was four years in a wheelchair, I had braces on both my legs, from my hips to my ankles and that was progress. Thank God today I’m able to be vertical and ambulatory with the help of a seven-foot walking wand. But you hear my voice; positive, purposeful, powerful and pleasant. And it’s all because of one word, one word, and that word is Smile. Smile is an acronym that stands for Seeing Miracles In Life Everyday. So when I tell this story with people and people say, “Hey Barry Shore, I’ve been up for hours already, I haven’t seen any miracles”. And I ask them, Are you here? Can you hear? Can you see? Can you stand? I can’t. Can you walk? Do you have water to drink? food to eat? Places to be? Family? Friends? All of those are miracles and what’s the proof? Simplest proof of all, a million people didn’t get out of bed this morning. You know why? They died. If you’re watching this, listening to it, by definition, you’re here. You’re alive. You’re alive, you have an obligation to live exuberantly. Let me tell you a quick story before I continue. My eight-year-old niece comes over to me a couple of weeks and says to me “Uncle Barry, Uncle Barry, can we spell smile?” S-M-I-E-L, and I thought about it, smile, smiel, sounds the same, why not? I asked her why? Because then it would stand for Seeing Miracle In Everyday Life. Out of the mouth of babes, isn’t that wonderful? What was she doing? She was creating the world she wants to live in. CREATE stands for Causing Rethinking Enabling All To Excel. We have 100 billion brain cells and over 120 trillion synapses connecting them all. They’re there for more than deciding what latte you want. It’s the ability to use your mind and your brain to do what we call Neuro-Linguistic Programming, which drives the fundamental understanding of what drives you to become a millionaire. The ability to use your mind to create the kind of world we want to live in and to do this together. More so than ever before. Before we bring on these two wonderful, amazing women, I do have to warn them in advance, I do use a lot of four letter words, I even use the four letter FU-word because it’s fun and the shock value. Now, the four-letter words, because we live in the world to the positive, purposeful, powerful and pleasant, four letter words I use are; love, life, hope, grow, free, gift, swim, pray, play. Four letter words! The four-letter FU word is FUNN. Of course, people are like, “Barry Shore, fun is only three letters.” Not in our world. In the world of positive, purposeful, powerful, and pleasant, fun is FUNN. After the show and you see your family and your friends and you have a twinkle in your eye and a smile on your face, remember what that stands for. Point your fingers and say, “FU everybody.” Remember to add right away the capital N. They’d say, “Where’d you get that?” You say, “I listened to Barry Shore and The Joy of Living. He wants to teach the world to FUNN.” So before we bring on these two amazing people, I’m going to urge everybody to do the following, I’d like you to use two most powerful words in English language three times a day from now and for the rest of your life consciously and conscientiously. And these two words are. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks, Dan. So to harmonize and network kindness. The Dalai Lama has been quoted as saying in his writing, be kind whenever possible. And he said it’s all possible. So imagine going back to the coffee shops, you walk in want a fancy latte for $5. You sit down and waiter brings it to you, you say thank you. You walk in the coffee shop, you order your fancy latte for $5, few minutes nobody is bringing it you, so you go to the counter and they say, Oh, I’m sorry, we forgot we’re busy we’ll bring it to you. You sit down, couple more minutes go by then somebody brings it to you, you say “thank you”. You’re walking out of the coffee shop and it’s raining out, somebody holds the door open for you, you say thank you. You’re walking out the coffee shop, it’s raining or somebody slams the door on you, you say thank you. You’re in traffic, you’re late for an appointment, somebody cuts you off, and you say thank. You get up in the middle of the night you stub your toe in it hurts, you say thank you to harmonize and network kindness, kind standards keep inspiring noble deeds. There are not two people that I can think of who keep inspiring noble deeds for me and for you than these two amazing beings named Chamie and Leslie, please say a huge hello to 353,720 people around the world. How is that for an introduction kids? Do you love it?

Speaker: Leslie

That’s great, fantastic.

Speaker: Barry Shore

When was the last time anybody ever said F-U to you and your child? Okay, I’m going to tell it. But if I start telling everybody, the background of Chamie Haber and Leslie G Klein, it will take up the rest of the show. So I won’t give you all the details. But suffice it to say that Chamie and Leslie are highly educated and educating women as they do, they educate people in the in the ways of living successfully, raising families that care, raising children that care, and teaching others to value what it means to live in a holistic way in life. Now, they are labeled, and we’re going to call them that for now. Because it’s important, everybody around the world understand this. They are Orthodox Jewish women. Now happens to be somebody might be scratching their head in India and say, Orthodox Jewish women, I think I may have heard of it. Oh, did I see something on Netflix about that? Well, that was a different kind, as a matter of fact, one of the reasons I asked Chamie and Leslie to be on is to make sure that whatever you think you know about Orthodox Jewish women, you don’t, they’re here, not to give you another perspective but to give you the true perspective, what it means to be a woman, a mother, a teacher, a daughter, a parent, and a loving wife, in an atmosphere in today’s environment, unfortunately, that tends not to value these things. So I’m going to say a number of statistics but let’s just suffice to say if you’d be so kind, Leslie and Chamie. I may just say between the two of you, we have what 9/10 Children?

Speaker: Chamie

I have six

Speaker: Leslie

I have four

Speaker: Chamie

Yep, we’re at 10

Speaker: Barry Shore

Right, we’re at 10. So I want everybody also to have their eyes pop out in their on their minds be expanded, because in today’s environment, that is highly unusual. But here’s why. It’s highly unusual because this society that I grew up in, I’m older than both of you combined. I’m 72, chronologically, and most of our listening audience is under the age of 38. So the important thing is to know that when I was growing up, children, were considered a benefit. So to have a larger family was something wonderful. In today’s environment, it’s just the opposite. Matter of fact, children are looked upon as an expense, rather than a benefit and a contribution. But when we live in our world, as I am, as well, I’m an Orthodox Jewish man, not an Orthodox Jewish woman, and we live in our world, we live in a world that values these three things, and then I will allow us Chamie and Leslie to speak to these points. Number one, that there is a Creator, we call God, many people have different names, but the Creator. Number two, there is something called the Sabbath, the ability to have one particular period of time every week, that enables the family to get together and to do things as a family unit, as well as encouraging each other to live well is an essential part of being successful as these two women are highly successful in everything they do. And number three, something we call the laws of family purity, which means the ability to know that we don’t allow our senses to just allow us to go wherever they want, that we live within a code of honor, that values honesty, integrity, and life. So with that is an introduction, I won’t go into the dystopian issues that raised by the person we want to discuss from the article New York Times. But I’d like if we would, Chamie would you be kind enough to begin the process of speaking to the idea of being an educator, being a mother, being a wife, being the head of a community, and what all of those different duties entail and allow you to live with a smile on your face and not be bothered? Look, look at her. That’s right. And let’s say Ah, all the stress. How do you do it Chamie?

Speaker: Chamie

Honestly, I love it. And when you know what they say, when you love your job, you never work a day in your life, right? Nothing lights me up, like connecting with people, and helping people connect to themselves, to other people, to God. So I love it. So yeah, it gets stressful. And there are days where I’m like, oh, but most of the time we got it all together. I get so much out of it personally, and I just I love doing what I do.

Speaker: Barry Shore

Oh, this is wonderful. I’m going to talk about stress in just a moment, I’m going to give you two acronyms. But Leslie, and again, in addition to everything else, Leslie is a PhD, but we won’t hold that against her. And she’s the head of a woman’s school. So what is it that you do that enables you to keep smiling on your face with kids and husband, and family and school, and people constantly asking you and looking towards you? And you’re on your a pedestal in a way? Right? Isn’t that true?

Speake: Leslie

I don’t know if I would say that. I think that some of the challenges that I face that Chamie faces, they are to a great extent universal to working mothers. I mean, that’s a challenge across the board to balance work life and home life. And especially in a culture like you said, that’s not a workplace that is sometimes friendly to motherhood, other times not so friendly, you know, I’m lucky to be in a job where if I’m leaving school, to go to my daughter’s school play in the middle of the workday, I don’t have to lie and say I have a doctor’s appointment. I’m lucky to have that kind of job. Many women do have to lie, men and women have to lie because, you know, to say you’re going to a doctor’s appointment is like an acceptable reason to leave work, but for some reason to say you want to be there for your child is not and that is in many ways a sad reality. Do I have the secrets to balancing a smiling face? Do I have the secret to balancing work and home life? No, I have 20 balls flying in the air at any given moments and sometimes they fall and I’m you know, keeping it together by thread.

Speaker: Barry Shore

okay, I want to do a riff on what you said, unpack something, because you brought up something really, in my humble opinion, vital and important. And it’s something that I cannot talk about. What’s the simple reason I can’t talk about it? I am not a mother. Now they’re flying, I can speak as a father, and I can speak as a husband, my wife would be better to speak as a mother, but I think you make a remarkably important point. In the environment, the workplace today is far more friendly to women than it was a decade, two decades, three decades ago. That’s a given. It is still antithetical to motherhood, because as the friendliness to women happened, it was to woman, not mother. And for good or ill, I think it’s mostly ill, younger women today are not embracing motherhood, again, we’re talking outside of the Orthodox Jewish community, or outside of religious communities with Christian, Muslim behind whatever it is, outside of those unique, smaller groups. The bulk of women are not embracing motherhood, and something that is a sacred or something that, gee, I’d like to do that. Because it interferes with progress in career, let’s say. In other words, like you said, balancing becomes something interesting. And you did it purposely, you did this with balls in the air so when I speak to groups, I try to emphasize the word harmony rather than balance. I tell you why. I’ve tried to juggle many times, okay, I can’t. I can do two, sometimes three, and I just do lost the rhythm, but if you speak and I have friends who are very accomplished jugglers, when you speak to a juggler who’s accomplished, he or she will tell you right away that once you know how to master three, you can master six, eight, ten, twelve, even a buzz saw and dropping one doesn’t say, Oh, I dropped it, I missed something. It just says okay, I have to pick it up; they can pick it up with your foot, they can bend down, I mean people could do all kinds of stuff. So you don’t ever worry about dropping one. That’s where the greatness of it, again, I am praising Chamie and Leslie I’m embarrassing them a bit, but that’s what where they are in terms of accomplishment, they have gotten to the point where if they drop not a kid, but they draw blue things that don’t, they don’t stress out over it. Because they know it’s something that they can work with and learn from. Am I correct on that? In other words, you see things happening like that as a benefit thing. Okay, what can I do better? I’m putting words in your mouth. But is that true?

Speaker: Leslie

I stress out a lot. I think I would say that there’s definitely kind of like a big picture. And a big picture that I tried to keep in mind, that doesn’t mean that when something crazy happened at the office, when I was trying to leave, and now I’m like racing to hit carpool on time, but it’s not stressful, It’s still stressful. But it doesn’t mean that on any level, it’s not worth it. I wouldn’t change my choice. That’s two different things, it is stressful; trying to balance is stressful. I want to tell you, there’s always the most stressful weeks of the year are the weeks where I’m working, but my kids are on vacation. Those times I say from the start of the week, I’m going to feel like a failure as a professional, I’m going to feel like a failure as a parent. Because it becomes impossible because I’m trying, I need to be in two places at once the whole week. So does that mean what I change anything about? Would I change? What? Would I make a different choice? No, but that doesn’t mean that that week isn’t going to be stressful? Do I every time learn something? Oh, you know what, maybe I could try this next year. And it’ll work a little bit better. Of course, of course, there’s always an attempt to learn from our, I don’t want to say mistakes. Of course. I mean, I think everyone’s always trying to do better. So yeah, I would change my framing. I don’t regret you know; I don’t regret my choices. I love being a mother, I’d say it’s my greatest joy in life. But knowing that intellectually, even feeling that isn’t going to mean that I’m never going to feel stressed because at the same time,

Speaker: Barry Shore

Chamie before you chime in, I’d like you to speak to the point of kids at home for camp, or being with kids for camp and also continuing educating. I’d like to share with both of you the word stress is a very amazing acronym. So everybody when you hear anything, ah stress. So the most often people hear stress is the following; stomach turning reality, enabling self-sabotage, ah, kids are home from school, I need to be in the office, because the pots are overflowing and like the plumber that did my husband didn’t, ah. Stomach Turning Reality Enabling self-sabotage, we are sabotaging ourselves oftentimes, that’s what stress does. So when I’ve helped people with Thank God 1000s. And say, let’s reframe as you just mentioned, let’s reframe stress as stomach turning reality. It’s true, the kids are there, you’re pulling your hair out, you got to be in two places at once. We actually made me four places at once. And you’re not sure what to do, which takes priority, things like that enabling self-success, how you respond in any given situation will determine what’s going to happen. So it may have been again, I’m making this up ladies, because you’re smarter than I am. It may have been that to say five years ago, a situation that caused you a certain level of stress doesn’t cause you the same level of stress today, because you have chosen to respond in a different way. Sometimes better, sometimes not, but you’ve chosen to respond to hear the difference, not react and respond and that comes with and I’m going to ask Chamie, kind of to speak about this. One of the things that I think makes our life, Orthodox Jewish, in this case, Orthodox Jewish women help a lot and that is Sabbath. Chamie explain to people around the world. What is the Sabbath? And why should anybody care?

Speaker: Guest

Okay, the Sabbath for us starts at sundown on Friday and goes till sundown on Saturday, so we have 24/25 hours, where the most important thing is connecting, connecting to God, connecting to each other spending time with family, no electronics, so no computer, no cell phone, no washing machine, no cooking, all that has to happen before. And when we come into the Sabbath at sundown on Friday, it’s just connection time, it’s time to really connect ourselves. To have that time to breathe. I heard this line was that it was so good, “the Sabbath is when you stop doing and you just be” and you really need that time to just be. And, you know, sometimes the Sabbath looks like everybody just chilling and taking it easy because we got a really rough week and we need to spend time together as a family but not doing a lot. And other times this happens, it’s really exciting, and we have friends over and we’re spending time together you know, we go to synagogue we do a lot of things but we’re being, we’re spending time with the people we don’t usually get to spend time with because there’s so many needs, and so many things on our to do list and we’re constantly rushing from one to the other the Sabbath says stop, all your work is done. Whatever didn’t happen before sundown on Friday is not going to happen till after sundown on Saturday. So we have that time really to just connect to ourselves and our friends and our family and God, and it’s just rejuvenating.

Speaker: Barry Shore

So let me unpack what you have said for the benefit of hundreds of thousands of people around the world who had scratching their head and saying I think I heard everything she said she spoke English, but I’m not sure I get it. So let me unpack and say for everybody around the world, you may have heard the term Sabbath. What Chamie is describing and Leslie of course is part of this, and all Orthodox Jewish people. When it comes to a particular time in space, we don’t necessarily unplug from the world, but we plugged in to a higher place called as Chamie put it so nicely, being: being together. In other words, you have a family, how often during the tumult of the week, do families sit together at either a breakfast or dinner table for an hour, hour and a half is almost unheard of in today’s environment. Again, there are 10s of 1000s of people right now scratching their head and saying, wait a minute, Barry, sure I love you, but are you telling me that you people on the Sabbath, literally sit together on a table and Friday night with six, seven people maybe inviting other people obviously have 10-12 people sitting in a table for an hour, an hour and a half, eating, singing songs, being together and you’re telling me to do that on the next day as well, and you sleep. and you get to revel in each other’s company as well as the company of the creator and the most interesting company of all, yourself? Is that what you’re telling me Barry Shores? Is that what Chamie said? And the answer is yes. And here’s where it gets amazing, every single week, right? Am I correct on that Leslie? You don’t miss a week, do you? Yeah, you don’t say son, I think we’ll skip it this week. And part of it is because when it’s part of our DNA now, we revel in the fact that that becomes for want of a better term our place of docking, you know, we say that by computers, right? You know, the docking station and things like that. You can literally bring your ship in and have it docked and know that it’s being recharged as you’re doing it just by being as you said Chamie, right? Just by being you are being recharged in your physical, mental and spiritual aspect. Is that fair to say? That’s beautiful. To me, it’s amazing that people around the world who’ve heard of the Sabbath, don’t participate in the same way that we do. And that’s why in my book called The joy of living, I actually devote half a chapter to urging people to do what I call go on a fast, which is to put your phone and other things away for an hour to choose and try eventually get to two hours and three hours and such but it’s a process. But thank God we have been, we have chosen to live in a way that we connect as you said nicely Leslie and Chamie, with the Creator God, with each other, and ourselves. Leslie, would you be kind enough to speak to the point of I’m going to give you a couple of frightening statistics. And I’d like you to speak to because you work with a lot of women in your institute. And I don’t think they fall prey to this but there was a disturbing articles written by a well-known author, famous person for the New York Times in David Brooks. And he was remarking about several trends that are happening in the United States, vis a vis depression, people not having close friends, suicide rates, and things like that, that are all on the upswing. Now that we’ve talked about depression, in youth, between the ages of 12 and 17, I’d like you to speak to young people because you have children, younger children, between 12 and 17, that rose 63% in the past decade, that suicide rates in the past 20 years are up 33%. And by the way, I know for a fact that young women, girls are more prone to this than boys. I cry even talking about it hurts so bad, that people are feeling so alone, so non-connected, most people saying that they don’t have close friends. So I’d like both of you to speak, Leslie first, what is it like for your children and your children’s friends and other families, vis a vis, these disturbing trends? Do you see this in the Orthodox Jewish community? I assume we’re not exempt entirely, but do things like the Sabbath and believing in God and such, do they create a, shall we say not a barrier, but some sort of mechanism of bow work against these rising trends?

Speaker: Leslie

Okay, so I think you need to make a distinction between mental illness and somebody feeling a little down because they’re two very different things. Mental illness is a real thing that occurs in all communities. Because you mentioned people feeling depressed. So I think there’s the need to just make that distinction between like clinical depression, and between, like just being down in the dumps,

Speaker: Chamie

feeling depressed and having depression

Speaker: Leslie

let’s just make that distinction. So we’re talking about people who feel depressed. So I do think there is something that Chamie was mentioning, that being in a community where everybody is Sabbath observant, within our faith community, I mean, I think we’re all members of multiple communities, but talking about our faith community, where people are Sabbath observing. So, that really is like, sometimes the only time I see my friends or talk to my friends, because you know, everyone’s busy during the week, but again, but on the Sabbath, that’s when everyone’s kind of got time and things to do with, like I said, People gather for meals. I have found that I’ll get together with my friends during the week, and everybody has their phone in their hand. Yeah, we are sitting around and talking to each other, but we’re also checking our phones. But when you get together on Sabbath, no one has their phones, so everyone is actually looking at each other and not half paying attention and have a bit of something more interesting happening on my phone.

Speaker: Chamie

I would just add, it’s not just the phones, although the phones are a huge issue, I think we all know that. Yeah, as much, and we’re part of that issue. But I think besides the phones, it’s also there’s, especially when you have a large family, this one needs to run to carpool, so I cannot get together with my friends at four o’clock, and at four o’clock, I’m running out here. And this one has a Dodger. I mean, there’s so many polls on our time. And then when the time comes, all those go away, except for connection, except for spending time with the people we love, except for really enjoying and being who we are. And I think that’s what we get out of the Sabbath.

Speaker: Leslie

And, we actually tried to do family dinner every night, but you know, Tuesdays, my daughter has a dance and Thursday.

Speaker: Barry Shore

I know what people try to do. often doesn’t happen during the week at the family sits together.

Speaker: Guest

For us, it happens most nights.

Speaker: Leslie

Yeah, but it might be 20. If you are pointing out the length of time, the meals are a lot shorter

Speaker: Guest

On Sabbath, we make special food, we set a table with beautiful dishes. It’s like all the things we really want to be doing all the time, we’re able to do on the Sabbath.

Speaker: Barry Shore

Let’s hold right here because we have sponsors and they love sponsoring us because that helps the show grow. So we’ll be right back everybody because, people just loving this. Thank you Chamie and Leslie, be right back. The two brief messages don’t go away.

Hi everybody. Barry sure here the ambassador of joy. We’ve entered in to the fall season and Fall means coming up to winter holidays, all kinds of stuff, not just stuff, stress S-T-R-E-S-S as you know, I’ve spoken about stress many times on the show. And with stress coming on with the holiday season, everybody wants to be happy and such. But everybody knows what’s going on. I want to talk to you about something really important for your benefit. It’s called Talk space, talkspace.com. This is an online therapy program website and it’s available for you. It is so important for you to be involved. You all know my story, standing up in the morning Hale and hardy, and in the evening quadriplegic. Okay, nobody has to go through something that drastic to know that speaking to somebody, a professional licensed therapist can be of benefit. I know, it’s true. It helped me; it can help you. This is so easy to do. You talking about secure professional process is the number one online therapy platform in the country. It works around your schedule, your convenience, I urge you please match yourself with a licensed therapist. Go to talkspace.com, get $100 off your first month with the promo code BARRY. Go to talkspace.com, put in the promo code Barry and you get $100 off your first month. Please do it, you’ll thank me best wishes, bye now.

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Good day beautiful, bountiful be loving immortal beings and good looking people. Maybe you’re good looking, because you’re always looking for and finding the good. We have good overflowing in abundance double amount of good today with two remarkable women. Chamie Haber and Leslie Ginsparg Klein, mouthful. Thank you, ladies, both remarkably accomplished women, mothers, wives, educators, between them 10 Children, again, which blows most people’s minds. And we’re talking about saving our society because the trends in modern day America, unfortunately, are turning towards a negative path. And especially affecting younger people. I mean, under the age of 20-21, of mostly teenagers, you’ve been helping us understand that something called the Sabbath, which you celebrate every single week for a period of some 24-25 hours is helping you, particularly you two and your families and those, you know, in like you said in our faith based community to find a way of refreshing life and doing it in a way as Chamie emphasized about connecting, connecting to each other, connecting to God, however you term that and connecting to oneself, which of course, in my humble opinion, is the most productive process that anybody could ever be involved with. Because when you feel comfortable with yourself, can you be a benefit to others. Yes, Leslie,

Speaker: Leslie

I was just going to say don’t also underestimate the gift of 24 plus hours with no access to social media.

Speaker: Barry Shore

Wow, everybody around the world right now is going, not possible. 24 hours without social media?

Speaker: Leslie

There are times when I shut my phone off, I have such a feeling of joy because I’ve spent a week scrolling about whatever catastrophe has been happening this week. And you know, or something happened on social media. I posted something on social media, and it’s taking off the comments and you know, goes viral, and all of a sudden it takes over your whole week. And finally, it’s like, Oh, my goodness, I can put this away. And nobody from work can reach me everyone knows I’m not reachable. There is also no guilt of like, Oh, I really shouldn’t be working on this now, I should be working on that now. There’s no guilt, I can reach for pleasure and not feel guilty about it.

Speaker: Barry Shore

So this is wonderful. I also want to make mention that it’s not as if what we’re doing is building walls like a castle and raising the drawbridge and have a moat around it and saying, No, we’re ensconced here and you can’t get it. It’s the opposite. We are expanding our consciousness. We’re growing in life. Because we don’t have these chains of social media of attention necessary. The Attention Deficit Disorder is really dead. We have really now attention in surplus order. But I want to ask a question that is on lots of people’s minds. So let’s be blunt. You’re both adults. Wonderful, beautiful adults. And you appreciate the preciousness of this time. Let’s talk about kids, teenagers, do they find it also precious? Or do they find it stifling?

Speaker: Leslie

So my kids are younger, so Chamie can really speak to teenagers more than me. So my kids love the Sabbath. Because that when else does like money, have time to play Settlers of Catan. We play and we’re big game people so we very often, you know, playing settlers Ticket to Ride very into Azul, that is a great game that just came out relatively recently. So that’s a time when we can sit around and do stuff together that who has time for during the week?

Speaker: Barry Shore

That speaks to speak to younger kids, so let me ask Chamie, you have teenagers, but I would like to ask both of you to reflect back when you were teenagers. So first Chamie, you have teenagers, do they feel and maybe they don’t tell you, maybe you know, maybe it was not your kids, your kids have friends, do they feel stifled by the beautiful, bountiful 25 hours of Sabbath or do they feel in any way that it is curtailing their abilities?

Speaker: Guest

So let me tell you a story. When my oldest daughter was like four years old, that’s what we start saying, Oh, that toy makes music so we’re not going to use it on the Sabbath because it’s electric. Or, you know, Oh, you want to color? Oh you know, we don’t color on the Sabbath. And I was finding there were too many things I was starting to introduce to her. Not No, we don’t do that way because I don’t do that, but there were just too many limitations. And I without her saying anything because she was four, I started feeling like there was too much negativity and too many limitations on what she wants to do. So we went to Toys R Us, remember Toys R Us?

Speaker: Barry Shore

That was very funny Chamie. She went to something called a toy store. Marybeth people may not even know what a toy store is anymore. She didn’t go online, but she went to a physical place where they actually sold things. Yes.

Speaker: Guest

And we picked out SAVVIS toys. that not only were they allowed on the Sabbath, because they weren’t electric. They were within the rules, the boundaries of the Sabbath. But we didn’t play with them on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. So that way before the Sabbath started, we would put away anything with batteries in it. And we would take out these really cool toys that she loved, and she would ask me, she will beg me on Wednesday, please can I play with my Sabbath toys? Nope, those are only for Sabbath. So what that did, and I’ll get to her as a teenager in a minute, but what that did is it made the Sabbath special, because the Sabbath is not about what we don’t do. It’s about clearing all that stuff out of the way so we can focus on what we do want. So we got to do the same thing with our teens. And if there’s a lot of requirements and a lot of we don’t do, then, yeah, they’ll be resentful. But if we can make this Sabbath special, like Leslie said, that’s when you spend time with them more than during the week. That’s what. you know, we wear different clothing on the Sabbath. So we don’t wear our regular weekday, jeans and T shirts, we put on nicer clothing. So for a teenage girl, being able to go shopping with a bigger budget than usual and having special pretty clothing and putting on makeup, and that’s all part of the sabbath. So, we try to make it about what we do and what is special, special food Okay, so my boys like beef. Most maybe a lot, my boys really want beef. I’m not doing beef all week long but on Sabbath, we’ll have a brisket. So they were just trying to find the things that will give those teens, the little children and the big children and the very big children like us, the joy of the Sabbath, whatever makes them happy. If they like to read, let them read on the sabbath, if they like to hang out with their friends, let them hang out with their friends on the sabbath. You asked about when I was a teen, my friends and I would walk to the nursing home and sing for the residents. That was our Sabbath thing. But we felt so special. We were celebrities in there, we walked into the local nursery, it was a Jewish nursing home. And we walked in and we said good Chavez, which is how we say Happy Sabbath and the residents lit up and they loved us. There was no other place in my life, where I had so many people who are crazy about me and happy to see me. So that’s what I did when I was a teen. But that was my jam, you know? And then we sat around in their cafe and talked for hours

Speaker: Barry Shore

Imagine that people, talk. So Leslie, do you have a similar story when you were a teenager?

Speaker: Leslie

No, I was not nearly that righteous. I was reading novels and hanging out with friends. But yeah, I always I always loved it. I loved it. And one of the smartest moves that I made in graduate school was the decision, I would not read for school on the Sabbath, even though technically I could. But I made the decision not to and I do think that helps keep me sane throughout graduate school.

Speaker: Barry Shore

So this is so enlightening. And I mean it both in terms of expanding the mind and lighting up the world with what you’re doing. And because I think both of nothing, I’m telling everybody, what you’ve done is you’ve opened up a VISTA, that’s number one. Number two, both of you have used similar terms. And that presenting this time as a time of joy, of reframing, and making sure that the mindset is there for growth so that, as I said this, the dystopian trends in America, for younger people 12 to 17, of feeling depressed, and again, your point less is important and must be restated, which is a distinction between mental health. Let’s say they needs medicines, even you know, real issues, and people feeling depressed, or lethargic or confused, which is what most people are when they say they’re depressed. They’re not really medic, you know, from the point of view of prescription depressed, but there’s enough of that kind of feeling in the world that doesn’t have a Sabbath, or a time that is allowed to be special in people’s lives, or the lives of in America today, or No day is different than any other. And when you have that, you can’t help but be stressed in the negative sense, self-sabotage. It’s very hard because you’re not disconnecting from social media, that you can never be turned off. And therefore you can never be turned on. You just become an automaton. Like you mentioned, Leslie, I saw you doing you know, you keep scrolling, because let’s be blunt, It is addictive. I’m human, we do it. Yeah, you have to catch yourself after a few minutes. What am I doing? And then respond and again for us, thank God. We don’t just have an island, we have a place that is welcoming, Chamie I will use your words, you walk in with your friends to the old age home, and these are people who are so happy to see you, imagine everybody who’s listening. Hundreds of 1000s of people around the world. I urge everybody to share this with five people. So we’ll touch a million and a half people, God willing. Imagine walking into your home. And your family is saying, Yeah, you’re home, what a pleasure to see you. What a rush. What a feeling of connecting, what a feeling of joy. Joy, we have several acronyms for; one is journey of you. That’s really what joy is all about right? Journey of you, becoming the best you possible, isn’t it true? and the other is generating ongoing youth. Now I see Leslie right away saying Mr. Shore, generating is not spelled with a J, it’s a G. Okay, however, think expansively use the sound generating ongoing youth. That’s what joy really is. In a world we call it [unsure 51:04]. The idea to literally live in joy daily, no matter the circumstances. So what I’m going to do now is ask you a couple of questions, and then we’re going to match the Time goes by so fast. My first question is, we’ll come back again?

Speaker: Chamie and Leslie

Sure, of course.

Speaker: Barry Shore

Oh thank you. That’s wonderful. And the other thing is, I’m going to do something a little bit odd for you, but I’m going to do it. I’m going to give you a religious hug over the internet in front of hundreds of 1000s of people. You ready? Uh, first, I’m going to tell you a hug, you have to say you’re accepting it.

Speaker: Chamie and Leslie

Yes, sure.

Speaker: Barry Shore

Okay. So I’ll tell you what hug stands for, because you mentioned the Chamie. The one word description of the joy of living is one word, giving, going to an old age home and singing. Finding a venue where you can become a giver. That’s life. So hug stands for harmonizing Unlimited Giving. So here we go, 123. Thank you both so much. And again, everybody want to learn more about these two amazing being just go to Barryshore.com. and you’ll find all the information there. Remember, you tuned you tuned in consciously and conscientiously to the joy of living with your humble host, Barry shore, and you tuned in because you cared the most in the world about you becoming the best you possible. And this show we talk about the three fundamentals of life. Number one life, your life is purpose, you need a purpose driven life like these two wonderful women, and you go MAD, and you make a difference like these two women. And the third thing is to uncover the secrets and the power of everyday words in terms of www What a Wonderful World, SMILE, Seeing Miracles In Life Everyday, or as my eight year old niece says Seeing Miracles in Everyday Life, create the kind of world you want to live in causing rethinking, reframing, enabling all to excel. Use four letter words like love, life, grow, hope, swim, pray, play, gift, that’s what the Sabbath is a gift, being making a gift to you. If you can’t do 25 hours, do an hour, do something to be. And use, telling everybody in the world FU capital N, you got to add that right away and use the two most powerful words in English language three times a day consciously and conscientiously. Thank you, thank you, thank you to harmonize a network kindness, and the result is you will be happier, healthier and wealthier. Who doesn’t want that? So our blessing from Chamie and Leslie and Barry, our blessing to you is go forth, Live exuberantly, spread the seeds of joy, happiness, peace and love. Go mad. Go make a difference.

Speaker: Chamie and Leslie

Thank you.

Speaker: Barry Shore

Thank you for listening to this episode of the joy of living podcast. Now that’s another step towards your healthier, happier and wealthier life. Never hesitate to do good in the world, no matter what the situation. Join us for another upbeat discussion next time at Barryshore.com and be sure to leave a rating and subscribe to the show to get more conversations like this. And remember to share it with your family and friends too. See you on the next episode.